If It Kills You


Hi. Sorry.
I got here as fast as I could.
How bad is it? Can you move?
Okay, that’s good.
Thank God. Thank God.

I walked by your house every day last summer. It’s stupid. I know that I’m ripping out the stitches every time I do it, but it feels safe in a way that nowhere else does.

It’s the one place I know I’ll never see you.

I can repot the orchids, if you’d like. I noticed your wisteria might have been over-pruned, but please leave it to me for now.

I can fix this. You don’t have to do anything.

I’m sorry. I am so sorry.

I wish you wouldn’t cry.

What else can I do?

I wish-
I wish-
I want to drive you out to the countryside so you can see how bright the stars really are.

It’s all so much bigger than this, and there is nothing quite so lovely.

Hey, look up. We’re alone with them now.

Listen to me: There was only ever one road.

Even if this body marries the bog tomorrow, I will find you again in the next.

Do you understand what I’m telling you? Please say you understand. I need you to understand.

Hang in there, okay? I’ll see you soon. I promise.

_____

That was selfish of me. I just can’t let you go like this. Don’t you know it’ll kill me, too

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